Translating Empathy into Empowerment

An interview with Aija Mayrock

After garnering international acclaim for her bestselling book The Survival Guide to Bullying, written at age 16, Aija Mayrock has continued using words to help people heal and find their own voices. Aligned with Roger Robinson’s claim that “Empathy is the most important goal of poetry,” Mayrock says, “I have noticed that poetry has a unique ability to cross borders, to connect people, and resonate in corners of the world the poet might not know anything about.” Here, she also shares how she’s fusing poetry with careers in business and activism, each pursuit informing and strengthening the rest.

Your work relates to an ethos we share at The Napkin: "Language is a weapon—keep it honed," Kurt Tucholsky said. Similarly, in your poetry, language serves as a tool of empowerment and freedom. Can you share how you found your way to poetry? How has this art form in particular helped you turn your challenges into a collective experience?

I never imagined I would be a poet. I didn’t even know that what I was writing was poetry. That being said, my whole life I would fill diaries with rhyme schemes that I later would learn was poetry. When I was in school, poetry was taught in such a way that I felt the barrier to entry to be a poet or to write poetry was unattainable. I was a student that really struggled in school. I had learning disabilities and never excelled academically. Writing was always my outlet and when I struggled with different things in life, I opened my notebook and began to write. As a child, I dealt with brutal bullying and cyber bullying. I saw the ways in which words could be used as a weapon. Through my love of writing and poetry, I saw how words could be used to heal, to express, to make people feel heard. After my first book was acquired by Scholastic when I was 19 and became a bestseller, I continued to write and write more and more poetry. On my book tour, I would perform the poetry and fell in love with that form of expression. Ultimately, I began writing poetry about women rights and issues, as well as other topics. Those poems would then be turned into my second book, Dear Girl, which was acquired and published by Andrews McMeel in 2020.

Speaking of collective experiences, you use poetry as a medium to create empathy, community, and a united voice for those that are often not heard loud enough. How can writing and performing poetry help create safe spaces?

Thank you so much. I once met a musician who said to me, “When you walk into a room to perform, take a moment to feel what the audience needs from you. Each audience is different and what you must deliver changes depending on the day.” I think about this a lot when writing. It’s a challenge for me. But I write from a place of my own personal experiences, my own frustrations, grief, joy, and then I also write for what I feel my audience might be searching for. I think every piece is different and different periods of time call for different writing.

When I began sharing my poetry, I never thought it would resonate globally or build this global audience. The first poem that really resonated globally was “The Truth About Being A Girl” which is interesting because I wrote it about specific dynamics happening in the United States at that time. As my writing has evolved, I have noticed that poetry has a unique ability to cross borders, to connect people, and resonate in corners of the world the poet might not know anything about. I think that is one of the most powerful attributes of poetry, one of which we can see throughout history.

How has poetry helped shape your own self-image and rescript fixed beliefs?

Poetry has always been a creative outlet for me and it has allowed me to deepen my understanding of myself, of others, to heal… Writing has always been my method of processing, exploring, understanding and healing. Within writing, poetry has at times felt the most natural to me. I can’t explain why or how, but I felt I could most easily connect with myself through the medium of poetry.

With your artistic voice, you have not only been able to evoke change for many young readers, but you’ve also increased visibility for many communities. Can you share how you began bringing dinners to Holocaust survivors, highlighting the importance of care?

I was raised to deeply respect and look up to elders. Coinciding with that, I’ve noticed an increase in ageism in our society. At the height of the pandemic, I began volunteering to make phone calls to elderly people who were home bound in New York. Somehow, I wound up on an email list to bring Shabbat dinner to Holocaust survivors who lived below the poverty line in Brooklyn. The first day I showed up, I picked up 10 Shabbat dinners, and delivered to 10 survivors. And it was a day I will never forget. Being able to show up in a small way for my community, moreover, people in my community that deserve all of the care in the world—has been an experience I am so grateful for. After three years of being part of this volunteer program, I was speaking with a few of the survivors about how they wish to tell their story. As we spoke, I offered up the idea of making a short video and publishing it on TikTok and Instagram, as I had this built in following already. The stories of the survivors have resonated and impacted so many people and I’m just grateful my platform could be used to amplify in that way.

My hope, as a writer and poet, is to instill empathy in people’s hearts, to tell stories that otherwise might not be told, and to shed light on groups of people who may have fallen into the shadows of society. I think that has always been reflective in my work and I hope it continues to be.

As another one of your many hats, you are pursuing an MBA at Columbia Business School and collaborating with leading cultural institutions and brands. What insights you have gathered while navigating these different disciplines? What can poetry and business learn from one another?

Typically when I tell people that I am getting my MBA and they know me as a writer, they look at me with a very puzzled look in their eye. But there is one person who as soon as I told, got it immediately. And that is Anna Seidel. I decided to get my MBA because I have always been a business woman and a creative, but I was feeling enormous frustration from just being a creative in the entertainment industry. I showed up to my first day of class at Columbia Business School in January and it was an enormous learning curve. But it has been the most incredible experience, particularly as a writer. I’ve learned that challenging oneself to see outside the sphere in which you work/create can only be enormously beneficial to you, to your imagination, and to your work. I’ve learned that poetry and business both thrive when one thinks outside the box and challenges norms, but both disciplines can also thrive when put under constraints. I’ve learned that language and storytelling is a crucial and powerful tool, no matter if you are talking about statistics or screenwriting. I’ve learned that the brain thrives with challenge and being uncomfortable—something that trickles down into work.

To finish with a quote by Maya Angelou, “A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.” Poetry, it seems in your work, is the articulation of our uncomfortable silences, and your work has transformed these silences into moments of empowerment. How do plan to further your message of strength through language?

I read a quote years ago that has always stayed with me. “Write the thing that you are most terrified to write.” That doesn’t always mean your writing will be successful, received well, or bring you satisfaction. But I think there is such power in writing truth—whatever that truth is to you. I hope to continue writing the unsaid and untold, regardless of if it garners success. I think it is very challenging to follow what you believe, truly believe, in today’s world. But that, in itself, sets an example that hopefully others will take note of, and follow suit.